Do not know the full picture, do not comment, this is the basic self-cultivation of adults.
the Great Gatsby once wrote:
"when you want to criticize others, know that not everyone has the advantages you have."
indeed, there is no empathy in the world, and any self-righteous evaluation is either arrogant or stupid.
never judge a person casually through moments, nor speculate on other people's lives through superficial life.
what you see is what other people want you to see, but you don't know what kind of road others have taken and what kind of life they have experienced.
what you think is not what you think
there are many things you don't know
some time ago, Lin Lin, a high school classmate, talked to me about the current situation of a mutual classmate, Lingzi.
she immediately told me in the tone of discovering new gossip: "you know what I found in her circle of friends?" A new LV bag. "
and don't forget to add: "it must be fake."
I asked her, "Why do you say that? why do you see it?"
she replied, "in high school, she dressed so plainly that she didn't have much money at home. How could she afford such an expensive bag?"
I added, "maybe she's making money now. It's okay to buy herself a bag."
after I finished, I didn't answer any more, and it was useless to say more to people who made assertions to others based on just a few words.
although her grades were not outstanding at school, she went to her own company as an internship after graduation, starting as an employee and reaching the position of an executive.
she thinks that other people posting LV is showing off, but in fact, it's just other people's daily life.
when it is really worth showing off, Lingzi has never posted it on her moments. Anyone who has been in deep contact with Lingzi will comment on her modesty and politeness.
there are too many such things in life that just rely on the appearance shown to speculate about other people's lives:
seeing that the girl is beautiful and gets good grades, she must have gone through the back door with the teacher;
seeing that other people drive well at a young age, she definitely has some improper relationship.
her life must be in chaos when she sees others hpv, tattoo and dye her hair.
relying solely on the appearance shown by others, to rigidly make an one-sided evaluation of other people's lives actually exposes their own superficiality.
there is a saying: "I don't know the whole picture, so I don't want to comment."
when you don't really know others, don't judge others casually. What you think is that there are many things behind the truth that you don't know.
your random comments
exposes your parochialism and ignorance
once, when Olympic champion Yang Qian was shooting an advertisement for a brand, someone posted the photos of the shooting site online.
in the photo, Yang Qian is busy at the scene, dressed in a white dress.
unexpectedly, this group of photos caused controversy on the Internet.
someone's photo of Yang Qian is an attack:
"what's so beautiful? To be honest, the figure is ugly. "
"Don't be photogenic if you're so fat."
come on, this is the Olympic champion, not the beauty of female online celebrities, female stars, using their appearance to evaluate the champion of honor for the country, how narrow-minded such people are.
it is even more difficult for them to understand how much harm a casual comment brings to others.
in fact, such people are also very common in life.
when you encounter someone who is fat, judge their lives at will;
when you see other people's life is difficult, they accuse them of not working hard enough.
when you see that other people's work is ordinary, they judge others as mediocre and have no ideals.
in the eyes of these people, beauty, money, success. Is the only evaluation system, they will never appreciate more aspects of the world, the flash of character, the charm of wisdom, the goodness of goodness.
when they evaluate this rich world with their own single values, they expose only their own narrowness and ignorance.
people who judge others casually may not be very good, but they seem to feel a sense of superiority when they ridicule others.
Meng Fei once said:
"all sense of superiority does not come from appearance, stature, knowledge, family, wealth, status, achievement and power, but from lack of insight and compassion."
people who have seen the world never define the outside world with simple and narrow concepts. Their understanding of the world is full and hierarchical, not just a few words.
people who have really seen the world
never judge randomly
Zhuangzi told a story in the moral character.
in the State of Wei, there is a very ugly man named Ai Yi.
although his appearance is abominable, men, women and children of Wei are flocking to him.
after chatting with him, men often indulge in it and refuse to leave; when women see him making requests to their parents, it is better to be a concubine than to be someone else's wife.
so why are people attracted to him and trust him?
it turns out that no matter who he is dealing with, he always adheres to the same principle and does not judge.
not only does he never judge in words, but in his speech and communication, he can feel that he respects everyone's decision from the bottom of his heart, which is the reason why everyone is willing to associate with him.
the more people have seen the world, the higher the acceptance of others.
they will not use their knowledge to show their sense of superiority, nor will they despise others because of other people's point of view, wise and thorough, tolerant and easygoing.
Cai Kangyong once told a story of his own.
when he was a child, his mother took him to a rich friend's house.
the host family is so rich that they offer more expensive food to entertain the guests. Tsai Kang-yung is also eating these rare foods for the first time.
when he ate, he couldn't help exclaiming, "what is this? it's delicious."
when the host saw that he liked eating very much, he gave him another bowl and told him, "this is a fan. Eat more if you like."
but the host's hospitality left a deep impression on his mind.
, whenever Cai Kangyong comes to dinner, whenever he comes across rare dishes, the host will spare no effort to introduce them, for fear that others will not know:
"this is Kobe beef. It costs thousands of dollars to have a massage and listen to music when raising cattle."
Cai Kangyong will think of that experience.
it turns out that a person has the capital to boast, but chooses not to say it and take care of the decency of others. This is a person who has really seen the world.
Yi Shu wrote in the Round Dance: "the more a person shows off, the less he or she lacks." People who are really rich at heart never show off everything they have. "
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people who have seen the world never boast loudly about what car they have driven, where they have been, or what clothes they have worn, because they are full of heart and do not have to prove it to others.
first of all, they accept themselves, so they know how to accept, respect others, get along with the world gently, rather than overwhelm others everywhere.
I have seen someone ask, what on earth is the world?
there is an answer that I agree with:
No one can define the world.
you enjoy works of art in the Louvre, that is your world; cowboy running on the mountain, that is his world.
what you really haven't seen in the world is that you accuse the cowherd of not knowing art, while the cowherd accuses you of not knowing how to graze.
how to appear gracefully in other people's world is to really see the world.
people who have seen the world know respect rather than arrogance when they meet people who are inferior to them, and appreciate rather than denigrate people who are higher than themselves.
they never put their sense of superiority on their faces, nor do they show their worth in other people's weaknesses, let alone label a person on the basis of a single sentence in moments.
the so-called world is only one side of the world. Our world is noisy and rich because of the colorful existence of different people.
respect other people's values, do not judge others at will, see the best, can bear the worst, remain humble, always tolerant, such people will be welcomed by others wherever they go.
respect and accept the differences between others and yourself. this is what it should be like to have seen the world.
do not know the full picture, do not comment, this is the basic self-cultivation of adults.