A good life is a matter of "haggling".
what kind of woman has the best life?
some people say it's beautiful, others say it's a spoiled marriage.
in fact, the fate of women does not rely on exquisite and good-looking appearance, let alone marriage as the backing of life.
but care more about people and things that are worth it, and be loyal to life and yourself.
only a woman who knows how to "care" can live a thorough and comfortable life.
A woman who is "fussy" will not muddle along
as the saying goes:
"muddling along is not easy after all."
muddle along, looking unrestrained and unruly.
but this will only make you fall into a low level of cognition and be gradually dragged down by life.
actress Yong Mei has been a supporting role for 24 years before she became a double actress at the Berlin Film Festival and the Golden Rooster Award.
with a free life, she is strict with herself in her work.
every time she filmed, she was always the first person to go to the set.
sometimes after performing her own part, she will watch the performances of other actors in front of the machine, record and learn.
in Yong Mei's view, acting is a kind of life experience. If you want the character to be deeply rooted in the hearts of the people, you must learn to figure out the heart of the character.
the producer of "Forever" once mentioned that before filming, Yongmei went to Fujian for a week to learn to weave a net from local fishermen.
it was July and August, it was scorching heat, and her face was red and black.
later, when her husband came home from a business trip, he found Yongmei actually weaving a net at home.
it turns out that she brought the net home and has been studying hard.
A few seconds of the shot, a trivial part of the play, Yong Mei did not muddle along, lowering the requirements of themselves.
for every point she cares about her role, her performance level also increases by one point.
it is these inconspicuous movements and eyes, delicate truthfulness and simplicity that make her give the character a real soul and touch the hearts of countless audiences.
Yong Mei once said:
"if there is really a solution to the problem, I think we should constantly remind ourselves of self-discipline and constantly ask for a little progress, which requires enough patience and persistence."
the mindset of muddling along will only give up the struggle and be at the mercy of fate in the internal friction day after day.
No publicity, no harshness, sensitivity and self-consciousness at all times.
A woman who dares to care about value will not lose the direction of life in order to have a long-term harvest.
A woman who cares about whether she can add value to herself will regard every step of life as a way forward, gain solid strength and pave a broad future.
A woman who is "fussy" doesn't do everything.
do you still remember Gu Jia in Thirty?
after watching the play, I found a very interesting thing. Many women around me admired Gu Jia very much and thought that Gu Jia, like her name, was very "family-friendly".
but men have a different view, thinking that Gu Jia's sweeping of her husband and son is actually another form of "don't care" and "don't care".
doesn't care what the husband really thinks and doesn't care about the son's personal growth.
for example, at breakfast, Gu Jia would remind Xu Fengshan to change his stockings. Xu Fengshan said who would stare at my feet.
when Gu Jia heard this, he did not chatter endlessly and forced Xu Xiangshan to change it.
but she also did not respect Xu Fengshan's wishes, but stood by and stared silently. In the end, Xu Fengshan was defeated and chose to compromise.
Gu Jia controls everything from clothing accessories to company management behind Xu Fengshan.
caused Xu Fengshan to erupt directly:
"now you scold me like a son."
for his son, Gu Jia is even more detailed, hoping that every step of the child will be arranged according to his own wishes.
there are not a few women like Gu Jia in life. They work hard at home, but things always go against their wishes and are not understood.
especially in the way of educating children, to exercise all rights instead of children.
Bi Shumin tells such a little thing in her article "Teaching you to be sick".
one day, she found her son wilting, so she stroked his forehead with her hand and found that her son had a fever.
out of her mother's instinct, she wanted to get a thermometer to take his temperature.But at that moment, she changed her mind.
she said to her son:
"you're so old, you have to learn to take care of yourself when you get sick."
the son asked inexplicably, "I'm already sick. I'll look for you if I'm sick."
Bi Shumin asked again, "what if I'm not at home?"
"then I'll call or call my dad. Anyway, I'll put up with it."
looking at her son's aggrieved appearance, Bi Shumin said firmly:
"No, you have to go to the hospital by yourself.
with that, Bi Shumin explained to him the procedures and rules that should be paid attention to when seeing a doctor.
my son wrote it down with a pen while listening.
after waiting for two hours to pass, the son came home and proudly announced:
"I've got an antipyretic injection, much better, but there's something wrong with the note you asked me to remember."
see my son come back safe and soundBi Shumin was gratified by her confident appearance.
sometimes, instead of taking care of everything about the child, it is necessary to seriously "care" about those abilities that are easy to be ignored in order to help the child regain the initiative in life.
as Bi Shumin wrote in the article:
"one day, you will leave me and face many sufferings, including illness, alone." What I can help you in advance is to teach you a road map. It may not be so accurate, but it is better than nothing. "
in a family, as a wife and mother, not doing everything to the family, caring about the seemingly trivial things in life is the respect for your partner and the ability to hone your children.
A "fussy" woman is not magnanimous in everything
not everything goes well when you get along with others.
if you care too much, it is always considered too stingy and not magnanimous enough.As everyone knows, a woman who doesn't care about her gains and losses seems to be tolerant and kind, but in fact she has wronged herself and lost her bottom line.
in the hit TV drama "Please call me Director", Ning Lang is the company's golden secretary.
on weekdays, she not only arranges her boss's work plan and schedule, but also takes care of his diet and daily life.
in order to do this job well, Ning Mon has not only drawn up a detailed memo and schedule, but also prepared instructions for use, such as 13 items for making coffee and 21 items for eating habits.
can be described as trying his best to play the role of a good secretary in every detail.In addition, she also needs to become a psychological communicator for her boss, mediating interpersonal relationships and dealing with trifles for him in the workplace.
but such a conscientious job is seen as a position that even a chimpanzee with a high IQ can do in the eyes of his boss.
three years have passed, and even though Ning Meng repeatedly asked for a job transfer, the boss pretended to turn a blind eye and prevaricated by raising wages and taking holidays or buying bags to cajole.
Ning Mon, who never cares about hardships and hardships, finally decided to muster up the courage to resign and decided to pursue his ideal.
being patient in everything will only make others look down on you, ignore your efforts, and consume your time and energy.
Smart women should learn to gain or lose in accounting, do not lose the bottom line, and distinguish between right and wrong, so that they can live to be what they want in independence and self-esteem.
when Sanmao was studying in Madrid, he always adhered to the virtue that losing is a blessing.
in the dormitory, I am often called upon by my roommates to clean the table, wash the sheets and clean up.
Sanmao is kind-hearted and has always been unconcerned.
however, after a long time, her roommates asked her more and more, which made Sanmao finally burst out.
later, Sanmao, who was tolerant and magnanimous in everyone's eyes, became a "calculating" woman, but she unexpectedly won more respect and recognition.
it wasn't until then that Sanmao understood what principles you have and what kind of life you can match.
if you lose the bottom line and principles, you will only be trampled on by others and become weak.
Camus said in outsider: "the most reasonable way is not to force yourself."
concession is not magnanimous, nor is haggling equal to selfishness.
because softness without a bottom line will only make the other party gain an inch; kindness without principles will only let the other party do as he pleases.
when you are alive, stick to your bottom line and don't kill time for people and things that are not worth it.
worry more about your gains and losses so that you can live a fresh and clear life.
it took more than half of my life to understand that women with good fortune tend to care about it very much.
Women who care about their own values focus on their own development and are willing to do things that allow them to make continuous progress.
Women who care about the growth of their families have empathy and a big pattern, which can make their families more harmonious and happier.
Women who care about the gains and losses of others, dare to defend the bottom line principle, will certainly win respect and the future for themselves.
A good life is a matter of "haggling".
, may every woman "care" about a perfect life and cultivate a heart that is neither humble nor arrogant and leisurely.