The most excruciating thing in marriage is not conflict, but boredom.
in the letter:
daughter, when you said you were going to bring your boyfriend home, your father and I were very happy.
thought, if it is appropriate, your father and I will agree.
but after getting in touch with him last week, we firmly disagreed with you seeing each other again.
you are sad and angry, crying that we are all for the money.
but compared to the happiness of your life, my mother still wants you to think clearly.
that boy is not a beloved because he is too poor.
his poverty is not only money, but also spiritual lack.
Love is very happy, but in the fuel and salt of life, you will certainly suffer because of his "poverty".
Mom doesn't want to see you unhappy. Your father and I just want you to be happy.
seeing here, many people say that they can understand their mother's idea.
after all, you can start from scratch because you are not rich materially, but if you are poor, it is difficult to turn around all your life.
"ability" is poor
A few days ago, I saw netizens
@ Miao Miao
when Miao Miao and her husband Chen Zhe first got married, they were in love and envied others.
Love can be romantic, but marriage is life most of the time.
after less than two years of marriage, the marriage broke up completely because of a sudden accident.
Chen Xiang's performance has not been up to standard for half a year, although he has been reminded by his superiors many times, but he still does not take it to heart.
later, because of the accident, the company continued to lose money and decided to lay off staff, and the first one to be eliminated was the one whose working ability was not outstanding enough.
obviously, Chen Xiang is one of them.
it was not easy to find a job, but he thought that the salary was low, there were too many things, and he was far away from home. He was persuaded to quit after only a few months of work.
the family's expenses and livelihood are supported by Miao Miao alone, but the original plan was to move to the urban area at the end of the year, but later failed.
Miao Miao saw that her husband was either playing games or going out to drink and chat with friends, so she asked him:
"do you have any plans for your work recently? We can't keep sharing with other people, can we? "
the husband said, "you don't want to live. You move out by yourself. I'll look for a job slowly. And I think it's good now. I don't have to worry about food and clothing."
but what he doesn't know is that his so-called need not to worry about food and clothing is the result of Miao Miao's frugality.
gradually, the two quarreled more and more frequently. On one occasion, Miao Miao said, "you are a doo who can't stand up. With you, I don't see any hope!"
maybe it was a long-accumulated resentment, or on the spur of the moment, Chen Xiang kicked Miao Miao in the stomach:
"what do you want? I think you just have the ability. There is someone outside, so you don't like me, do you?"
only then did Miao Miao realize that she had been wrong from the beginning.
think of a sentence written by a writer:
"when two people are together, what they are afraid of is not that his family is not rich or that he has no savings, but that others are poor and do not want to make progress."
this is true.
A woman can not care about the other's family is not rich, because ambitious men will not want to rely on their parents;
Women can also care that men don't have money at the moment, it doesn't matter, because it takes time for anyone to succeed.
however, women should care about whether the other person has a positive heart.
without money, you will only suffer for a while, but without ability and ambition, you will suffer for the rest of your life.
people like to say, 30 years east of the river, 30 years west of the river.
ability is what it relies on.
only when a man constantly improves his ability and makes plans for his life, can he be worth marrying and have a future.
"heart" is poor
as the ancients said, "No sorrow is greater than death, and poverty is not greater than poverty."
saw a piece of news the other day.
A wife wanted to be an intermediate accountant, but her husband beat her and made her depressed.
A woman wants to take a certificate while she still has energy, which will be good for the future.
so he discussed the investment research with her husband.
but the husband said:
"just you? How many years have you stopped studying, and your intelligence can still keep up? Besides, if you sign up for a class of at least 20,000 to 30,000, you may not be able to pass the exam. "
the husband's firm opposition and mockery kept the wife awake all night for a long time, even to the point of taking sleeping pills every night.
her husband's shortsightedness hindered her promotion.
on the contrary, my neighbor Xiaoyan, although her husband's initial salary was only 4000 yuan, he had to send 1000 yuan to his parents every month.
but no matter how difficult the times are, her husband didn't give up his efforts.
when he runs business during the day and learns project management knowledge at night, he says to Xiaoyan the most:
"We are only temporarily poor. While we are still young, we must spend time and money to improve ourselves."
it wasn't long before her husband became a project manager, and Xiaoyan was admitted as a graduate student in psychology under her husband's influence.
although the two are often stretched, their inner wealth keeps the marriage sweet.
it is not terrible for people to be poor, but a poor heart is the source of nothing.
when you are with people with poor hearts, you will feel that you will not succeed in doing anything.
with people who are rich in heart, there are new expectations every day.
because people with poor hearts are afraid to do things, and what they see in their eyes is always the interests of the present.
Life is precious, stay away from those who are barren inside, let alone become one of them.
only when you are rich in heart and send opportunities to you, can you have the ability to seize and have them.
"three values" are poor
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in life, we often hear such words:
"he is very kind to me and always focuses on me; he has a good temper and he coaxes me first when he is angry; he is gentle and considerate and has surprises on birthdays and anniversaries."
A woman who falls in love seems to be worthy of a lifelong partner as long as the other person is good enough to her.
but aren't these the most basic attitudes towards each other?
when a woman chooses a mate, don't just talk sweet words, serve tea and pour water. What is more important than these is the harmony of the three values.
my friend Xie Li and his ex-husband are a typical case.
she married someone introduced to her by her parents, and within half a year, her family urged them to get married.
but it was only after her marriage that she found that the other person's values, lifestyle and life style were very different from her.
like her husband, she comes from a small village.
but she likes writing and makes some money by writing.
but whenever she says she wants to go to Japan to see cherry blossoms, Hokkaido to see snow, and Bali to see the sea, her husband is always not interested, but says:
"We don't have that condition. Women still have to put family first and go out less."
she likes to wear makeup, flowers and buy different styles of clothing and jewelry. Her mother-in-law always says behind her that she is a waste of money. With these thoughts, she might as well have a grandson earlier.
birth is not terrible, but the terrible thing is that he is comfortably poor.
Xie Li has a sentence that impresses me very much:
"Poor people, no matter how hard you try, can't change each other. I don't want to spend my own money, but also depends on each other's values. "
it is true that Xie Li's original family is not good enough, but she is not stuck in the status quo, while her partner is content with the present, so she ends up going their separate ways.
there is a good saying:
"Love is not looking for lost ribs, but looking for a resonance with no sense of discord. At the same frequency, love can communicate and grow. "
A really good marriage is the resonance of the soul and the agreement of the three values.
for a poor person, you tell him that the sea is beautiful, but he can only say that people have drowned in the sea.
writer Lu Xun wrote: "the most excruciating thing in marriage is not conflict, but boredom."
and the only thing that can avoid mutual boredom is:
being with capable people will make your life full of expectations.
when you are with those who are rich in heart, you will always have light in your heart even if it is difficult.
with the rich people of the three values, they can live an ordinary life and dance.
No matter what age, no matter who you marry, you must learn to accumulate your own capital constantly. Only in this way can you have the strength to be loved and given up.
I hope that every woman can find a "rich" partner and have a wonderful life of her own.