The highest state of life is to know how to "pretend to be confused".
see a sentence:
"most of the time, I don't make much comments. "pretending to be deaf and dumb at the right time may be the best choice."
most of the time, "pretending to be deaf and dumb" is not stupid, but wise and foolish.
when you are alive, you don't have to take everything seriously, sometimes you pretend to pass by.
you don't have to listen to what others say. In case of trouble, there is no need to fight for victory or defeat.
Learning to "pretend" is not only a kind of wisdom, but also a person's EQ.
can not only win freedom, but also give people comfort.
the highest state of being a man is to know how to "pretend to be confused".
Don't listen to bad words, pretend to be deaf
there is a proverb that goes like this: "right and wrong come to the ear, but if you don't listen, there will be nothing."
indeed, there are too many voices in this world, and if you hear too much, it will only add to your annoyance.
my friend Xiao Bo told me about her personal experience.
she worked hard and was publicly praised by her boss soon after she joined the company.
however, colleagues talk privately:
"Xiao Bo must be a workplace oily! I don't know what shady means it took to get her boss to praise her. "
although Xiao Bo has a clear conscience, she doesn't want her colleagues to misunderstand, so she slowly doesn't rush to work, and even reduces her work efficiency, but doesn't want her boss to praise her any more.
but who has ever thought that colleagues now say:
"see, Xiao Bo really doesn't have any skills, and his previous high abilities are all faked.
Xiao Bo was so aggrieved that in order to prove her strength to her colleagues, she took over the company's most difficult project.
Xiao Bo thinks that this time he will definitely be recognized by his colleagues.
but as a result, it backfired.
Bad words are easy to say, but never easy to listen to.
since other people's words are ugly and useless, you might as well not listen to them at all.
Model Chen Yu was once pointed out by passers-by when she was visiting the Great Wall because her clothes were so distinctive.
the reporter didn't understand why she didn't care about it.
but Chen Yu said very calmly:
"modeling is a career in the spotlight. If I cared too much about other people's opinions, I would have been depressed."
the young Chen Yu has received a lot of comments.
some people say that her walk on the catwalk is not good, and some people say that her typhoon is not good.
in the face of criticism, she accepted it completely and changed herself according to the standards of others.
however, the results are not as good as they used to be, and the voices of questioning have not diminished.
since then, she no longer listens to what others say, but only respects her heart.
as the writer Yu Hua said:
"Life belongs to everyone's own feelings, not to the opinions of anyone else."
indeed, I am aware of the warmth and coldness of this journey of life.
No one in this world can satisfy everyone.
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A thousand people have a thousand mouths.
if you live in other people's mouths and think about other people's preferences every day, you will be drowned by drooling before life puts pressure on you.
when other people say bad things to you, they just vent without thinking. If you listen, you lose.
only by learning to pretend to be deaf, can you hear the voice from the bottom of your heart, do what you want to do, and become a better person.
be reasonable and not argue, pretend to be dumb
Carnegie once said, "the only way to win an argument is not to argue."
this is true. Sometimes even if you win one thing, you may lose time and lose your mood.
the owl of writer Lao Yang wrote about his own experience in his book being an emotionally stable Adult.
once on Weibo, Lao Yang received such a private message: "what junk article did you write?"
seeing the word "garbage", Lao Yang, who originally wanted to ignore it, could not help but reply: "if there is anything wrong with my article, you are welcome to point it out."
but netizens ignore it at all, and the words they say are even worse:
"who can read this kind of junk book?" I only like Nietzsche's philosophy and Kafka's novels. I disdain to read rubbish books like yours. "
Lao Yang replied calmly, "you haven't even read my book. Why do you think it's rubbish?"
but he did not expect that his repeated forbearance resulted in the aggravation of netizens.
"most of the people who write books are rubbish, and of course the books you write are rubbish, so you don't have to read them at all.
but before sending it, Lao Yang gave up.
because he found that if he starts to argue with netizens, he will be no different from the Internet junkie.
wasting time without saying anything will spoil your good mood.
right and wrong are free from the hearts of the people. Not arguing is not unreasonable, but not worth it.
in ancient times, a businessman took a basket of tea to the tea shop for consultation.
the clerk in the shop said that the merchant's tea is excellent white tea.
but the businessman did not believe it, saying either his own tea or ordinary loose tea.
the man was anxious and gave evidence many times to convince the businessman, but the businessman was stubborn.
the two quarreled, and the businessman even began to denigrate the tea shop.
the shopkeeper came out at this time, glanced at the merchant's tea and said faintly, "it's really ordinary loose tea."
the businessman was satisfied and left happily.
in disbelief, the man asked the shopkeeper why he was lying.
the shopkeeper said leisurely:
"since this man doesn't understand, you can't convince him to see how angry he looks. If you go on arguing, you will only fight. What good will it do us?"
arguing, you can't convince others or please yourself.
if you waste your emotions for some trivial things, the cost will be much higher than the outcome of an argument.
when you don't fight for a while, you get your own happiness.
Justice is in the hearts of the people, and it is good to draw a conclusion in the heart of whoever wins or loses.
he who wins in his mouth only wins the limelight for a while.
and the one who wins in heart really wins Li Zi.
see through but not tell, play dumb
see a sentence on the Internet:
"the greatest kindness I feel is the embarrassment of others. This is also the art of speaking."
for this reason, the more mature you are, the more you understand, and you should learn to hide some things.
writer Liu Yong talked about the experience of Huang Junbi, a master of traditional Chinese painting.
A lady, with four ancient paintings she had stolen from overseas at a high price, came to Master Huang to identify the authenticity with joy.
and so is the second one.
when identifying the third work, Huang Junbi said meaningfully:
"I am not adept at this painter's work. Although I am not sure, I can see that the painter's strokes are quite sophisticated."
then, when the fourth painting was just halfway out, Huang Junbi immediately clapped her hands and said, "this one looks good and is worth appreciating!"
the lady was worried because she had bought a fake, but she immediately smiled at the thought that there might be two authentic paintings.
but after the lady left, Huang Junbi said to Liu Yong, "wronged ah, spent so much money, all four are fake."
Liu Yong was puzzled and asked, "since it's fake, why don't you say it?"
what Huang Junbi said at this time impressed Liu Yong especially deeply.
"she is so confident in her own eyes. I've spent so much money, and in front of so many of her entourage, can I say it's fake? Remind her later when you have a chance.
money is a small thing for her, but it hurts her face, but it's a big deal. She has bought the paintings, true or false, as a foregone conclusion. If you break it face to face, it will not only embarrass her, but also hurt her feelings. "
as a passage I saw on the Internet: "some things should be learned not to break through, so as to avoid the embarrassment and embarrassment of some people."
this is true. Playing stupid at the right time can not only save other people's face, but also make others comfortable.
the quality of the relationship between people does not lie in the number of words, nor in the words of care, but in the appropriateness of speaking.
the sincerity of outspoken words is sometimes thoughtless.
speaking is an ability, but keeping your mouth shut is a cultivation.
sometimes white lies are more enjoyable than outspoken.
try to understand each other's emotions and thoughts from the other person's point of view.
it gives people both convenience and comfort.
to be frank and moderate, to see through but not to say, can you never get tired of being around for a long time.
Lin Yutang once said:
"when wisdom reaches its climax, it turns to see the harm of wisdom, and it is to retreat and hide foolishness in order to complete its body."
said how penetrating, really smart people, all know how to "pretend to be confused".
learn to pretend to be deaf, and you don't have to remember what you hear.
learn to pretend to be dumb. When you encounter something, you don't have to compete.
learn to play dumb, understand, you don't have to say it.
those who can "pretend" give themselves happiness and give others no worries.
May you live a life of self-help and freedom for the rest of your life.
, share with you.