"if you look at your moments, you will know that you lack of love."
"if you look at your moments, you will know that you lack of love."
There is no hurdle in life that cannot be overcome.

"how are you these days?"

I received the news in the middle of the night from a friend I hadn't seen for a long time.

busy opening her circle of friends, she records the trivialities of life, but there are few happy parts.

hurriedly replied to her: "it's still the same. How about you?"

never thought that she chattered endlessly as if she had opened a chatterbox, talking about the good fortune and misfortune of her past life.

she said that last year, she and her husband decided to divorce because of some irreconcilable conflicts.

now she lives alone with her children. Although she has alimony from her ex-husband, her work is not going well and she is still struggling to make ends meet every month.

two days ago, I even faced the situation of losing my job because I offended my immediate boss.

the reason why I came to me is that I have been holding these things in my heart for a long time, and I really want to talk to someone.

she said she wanted to be with someone, to have a stable job, to live a stable life in this world, and to put an end to her current troubles.

but it's really hard.

she felt as if she was walking in the boundless darkness. In the most difficult time, she looked around and asked for a hug.

I was very upset when I heard her say this.

We went to college together, and I have seen her optimism.

did not expect to enter the society only a few years, but early by the reality sharpened the edges and corners.

in a similar environment, I understand her difficulties and her helplessness.

in fact, there are too many such people around us--

someone walked through a long tunnel alone and couldn't see the light for a long time.

some people are faced with the situation of being separated from their partners and hesitate to know what to do;

some people have encountered a bottleneck in their work, and there is no breakthrough up and no compatibility down.

if such people see too much, they will understand the sufferings of the world.

also really understand that in the circle of friends of adults, there are more trivialities in life and less beauty in the world.

speaking of this, I think of Hu Jingjing in "I'm fine in a foreign land."

in the eyes of outsiders, she is a cheerful and generous girl, able to take care of people, but also very attractive.

she also has three best friends in her life, all of whom work hard in Beijing and have a caregiver on weekdays.

but no one could have imagined that on the day of her birthday, when her sisters booked a seat and arranged a private room, it was the news that she jumped off a building to end her life.

like a bolt from the blue, a friend who is still alive one second lies in the cold morgue the next.

No one can accept this reality.

several friends frantically looked for the reason, looked through all her past news and inquired about all her past friends, and only then did they know that Hu Jingjing, who had been happy all day, was not happy.

she talked about her boyfriend, but broke up within a few months.

she owes an online loan, and she is easily urged to pay her debts.

she just lost her job and didn't even get a penny of compensation.

she even suffers from depression, always secretly going to see a doctor, and then trying to get back on track.

when her friends sorted out all the difficult things in her life, they found that the bruises all over her body hidden behind the smile mask was the most real appearance of her.

but every time I think of her desperate decision to end her life, I always feel sorry.

what a lovely girl she is. She is sincere and active.

she may just be in an isolated situation at some point in her heart.

but in fact, there are too many friends around her who want to hug her and give her warmth and love.

if she encountered a problem, not a person to support, but a different solution, or find someone to talk to, maybe the problem will be solved slowly.

even if there is no immediate solution, perhaps the depressed mood will be temporarily relieved, and perhaps there will be a different state of mind in the face of the rest of life.

few people are easy in the adult world.

it's just that sometimes, as we travel through loneliness and despair, we need to learn to call for help.

there is a lyric in "the Theft of time": "

years are a journey with no return, and the good and the bad are the scenery.


it's just that sometimes we focus too much on what we're missing.

the reader Sugar told me that she had a very difficult time.

worried about the family's financial problems, the idea of whether or not to have children lingered in her mind for many times.

later, they felt that it was fate that the baby could come, and they could not bear to send it away like this, but decided to have it.

when he couldn't find a job, my husband went out to do odd jobs, delivering takeout and driving a ride-hailing, but he was barely able to support his family.

but no one thought that when she was five months pregnant, there was bad news from her hometown that her father had a sudden cerebral hemorrhage and was admitted to the hospital because the illness was too sudden to be rescued in time and his life was in critical condition.

with a big belly, she immediately bought a ticket back, but she was stopped by her family without thinking about it.

the family said that according to the custom over there, she was still pregnant and could not go to such an occasion, so she missed the end with her fatherOne side.

she said that at that time she often washed her face with tears. she even thought of inducing the baby and rushed back, but she was stopped by her family.

she said she felt she would never be loved again.

she said that she had a deep understanding of what hemp rope is meant to be broken, and that bad luck is only looking for miserable people.

later, the baby was born, a little boy, and his eyebrows looked a lot like her father.

she said that the night before the baby was born, she dreamt that her father came to see her and held her hand, just smiling kindly.

she seems to have the strength to face the rest of life.

not long ago, she took a family photo and took it to pay tribute to her father when Ching Ming Festival was.

tell him that both Dabao and Xiaobao are healthy, and Xiaobao can already know his grandfather's picture.

tell him that her husband has found a job, she will occasionally take a part-time job, and her life is safe.

also told him that he missed his father and hoped that his father would often come and have a look in his dreams.

now, she seems to have more or less put aside those regrets and moved on to live a hard life.

in fact, it is difficult to have a perfect life, everyone's life, more or less have deficiencies and regrets.

but imperfection is the norm in life.

the man who lives strongly with regrets can be called the strong man of life.

Yang Jiang once wrote about her life experience after the age of 100:


God will not let all happiness focus on one person.


get love may not have money, have money may not get happiness, get happiness may not have health, have health may not have everything you want.

indeed, the same is true of life. Those who seem to be going well may have unknown difficulties, and those who seem to be rich and rich may have troubles that you do not know.

some people push cups for silver taels, while others get drunk late at night.

some people ask for marriage in front of an old man, while others look all over Quan Yin for a son.

the world is not easy, probably.

No one has been successful in his life. Imperfection is the norm, and imperfection is life.

so, in the face of life's pain and misfortune, how should we face it?

think of a sentence Qian Zhongshu once said:

"take a bath, look at a flower, eat a meal, if you feel happy, it is not all because the bath is clean, the flowers bloom well, or the dishes are to your taste, mainly because you have nothing on your mind."

that's true. Life can't be as good as you think, but it won't be as bad as you think.

when you are sleepy, you may gnash your teeth and you will be able to face the willow of life and go to Hua Ming.

the rest of my life will be long--

May you be optimistic and magnanimous in the face of misfortune around you.

May you make a lot of friends and get along well, so that when you are upset and miserable, you will have company and comfort.

I hope that no matter what situation you are in, there are people who really treat each other, and you can grit your teeth.

there is nothing insurmountable in life, and being at the bottom of the valley sometimes means that life should improve.

, may I tonight be able to relieve your pain and temporarily dispel your troubles.

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I also wish you and me a life of seeking wealth, asking for love, less sighing, and more unexpected surprises.