Good relationships can make you happy for a long time.
psychologist Adler once said: "people's troubles come from interpersonal relationships."
interacting with people is an inevitable part of everyone.
in a relationship, your words and deeds determine your life.
Today, I will share with you nine golden rules that will make your life easier and easier to deal with.
Law of voice
when many people communicate, they always have all kinds of contradictions because they don't know how to speak well.
I read a story on the Internet.
A netizen found a mobile phone on the road.
just as the owner called, he heard the other end shouting, "you'd better give me back my phone quickly. My phone has a location and can find out where you are!"
he had planned to return his mobile phone to the owner, but with such a roar, he hung up the phone and walked away.
sometimes yelling doesn't work and doesn't help you achieve your goal.
there is a line in the movie "ride the Wind and waves":
"you don't need to be so loud. Controlling your voice is the most powerful aura."
calmness in case of accident is really strong.
Learning to control the volume is not only an effective way of communication, but also the embodiment of self-cultivation.
do you have such an experience:
when others come to you for help, you just say yes without even thinking about it.
it was clear that he didn't have the ability to help each other, but he was embarrassed to refuse, so he finally reluctantly agreed.
as a result, I worked myself to death, but others took it for granted.
A lot of troubles in life are caused by saying "yes" too quickly and saying "no" too slowly.
A person's greatest self-discipline is to take care of himself.
Life is hard enough, take care of your own affairs first.
Don't blindly be a good man. If you don't understand the consequences of rejection, you will get yourself into an awkward situation.
Don't be impatient or snub when others trouble you.
consider the problem itself. If you do it yourself, do you have time? Will it be solved?
Law of prejudice
there are two sides to everything, but only one side is called prejudice.
philosopher Schopenhauer once said:
"the obstacle that prevents people from discovering the truth is the prejudice that people have accumulated before."
when you look at others with prejudice, you tend to generalize and make wrong judgments.
just like you wear sunglasses to see the world, no matter how wonderful it is, what you see is always dark.
We often see such examples in our daily life.
if you don't like a person, everything he does is wrong, even where he stays, you feel a strange aura.
you don't like him, and if he doesn't deal with you, all kinds of contradictions will follow.
whether others are good or bad has nothing to do with you.
be yourself and live with the greatest kindness; only when you put aside your prejudices will you find more beauty in human nature.
Luo Xiang once said, "misunderstanding is the norm of life, but understanding is the exception of scarcity."
it is inevitable to be misunderstood in life, but not everything needs to be explained.
in most cases, telling the truth to people who misunderstand you will usually lead to more misunderstandings.
as the saying goes: those who know me say I am worried; those who do not know me say what I want.
when you are alive, you don't have to care too much about what other people think.
some explanations are unnecessary, and people who don't understand you won't believe it anyway.
people who really know you don't need to bother to explain.
people are not born to please others. Instead of wasting each other's time, spend more energy on being yourself.
this is the way the world is. When you bloom, all misunderstandings will disappear.
the communication between people should pay attention to reciprocity.
gift-giving is the best way to see a person's attitude towards the relationship.
in many cases, how to give a gift is more important than what to give.
in the novel Maggie's Gift, there is a couple, Jim and Della.
they live in poverty, but each has one precious thing:
Jim has an ancestral gold watch and Della has beautiful hair.
Jim's gold watch is worn out because of its long time.
although Della has beautiful hair, she lacks a comb and rolls it up at will every time she goes out.
on Christmas Eve, Jim sold his gold watch and bought Della the comb he had been longing for.
Della sold her hair and bought a platinum bracelet for Jim.
although it is no longer useful, they feel each other's deep friendship, and their feelings are even stronger.
gifts, pay attention to satisfaction, it reflects whether you care about the other person or not.
gifts are given from the heart; sincerity is the best.The Gift.
in life, there are always some people who like to listen to hearsay and spread rumors.
the three men became tigers, and some outspoken words changed their taste as they spoke, and spread them into rumors.
writer Han Han once said:
"if you don't understand, shut up, because you never know what others have been through."
Don't talk about things you don't know behind your back.
because in most cases, the person who spread the rumor to you will also spread the rumor behind your back.
the most important thing in life is to live well.
stay away from people who spread rumors and don't talk about other people's rights and wrongs at will.
say what you should say and do what you should do.
this is not only the yardstick of interpersonal communication, but also the measure of being a man.
Law of Imagination
Mr. Lu Xun said:
"I dissect others all the time, but more often I dissect myself more mercilessly."
in life, if you find that others are not as good as you think, please don't be angry.
because you may not be as good as you think, this is the law of imagination.
in a relationship, don't expect too much of others and don't overestimate yourself.
excessive expectations of others often put the other person under great pressure, and once the other person fails to meet the expectations, he will be disappointed.
trust others, but don't ask them, or they will only consume each other and be exhausted.
long way of life, meet is fate, put down unrealistic expectations, in order to better meet.
Law of opinion
there is a "Duck effect" in psychology, which says:
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people who are incompetent will come to the conclusion that they think it is right but are actually wrong on the basis of their own lack of consideration.
such people tend to misjudge the truth of things.
when others give him advice, he not only turns a deaf ear to it, but also tries his best to refute it.
the so-called law of opinion means that those who need to listen to other people's opinions most often do not like others to give them advice.
because in his opinion, to give an opinion is to deny his ability.
you can never wake someone who pretends to be asleep, and don't try to convince a stubborn person.
because of their inherent thinking, no matter how much you talk, it is futile.
A wise man will not give himself such trouble.
instead of trying to change others, be yourself.
"I judge a person by the questions he asks, not the answers he gives."
how to ask questions is extremely important in interpersonal communication.
an appropriate question can quickly shorten the distance between people.
in the program "Truth Index", Cai Kangyong asked: "are you tired of making movies?"
this sentence makes Jackie Chan, the tough guy, can't help crying and can't stop for a long time.
asking questions is a kind of ability. A person's way of asking questions reflects a person's EQ.
people with high EQ often know how to think of others when asking questions and ask them in gentle words.
in interpersonal communication, whether a person is worthy of deep acquaintance or not is all hidden in the questions he asks.
Social Psychology writes: "High-quality interpersonal relationships are the main source of happiness."
No one is an island when he is alive.
A good interpersonal relationship can make you happy for a long time.
, may friends master these nine laws of interpersonal communication, manage their own interpersonal relationships, and lead a rich and beautiful life.