Whether you choose a friend or fall in love, you should choose carefully.
have you found that modern people's interpersonal relationships obviously prefer "high-quality social interaction"?
this is also true.
after all, getting along with the wrong person not only consumes energy, but also brings you endless consequences and makes you fall into a trap.
bad mood maker
Inner OS: "another day for emo"
American psychology professor David R. Hawkins, through more than 20 years of clinical trials, put forward the concept of "energy hierarchy":
the more comfortable you are with people with higher energy levels;
Bad emotions are as contagious as sneezing, and every complaint spoken may have a "butterfly effect".
such people often regard each other as an "emotional trash can". As long as they are in a bad mood, regardless of time and occasion, regardless of each other's feelings, they begin to complain endlessly, pour bitter water desperately, and force negative energy into each other like a bombardment of information. if you get along for a long time, it will devour the positive energy of the people around you and make people full of hostility.
"I am a very sympathetic person, and I often bring myself into the situation described by my friends, making it difficult for me to get out."
"he has been pouring grievances on me, and his good mood has been affected, but in fact, I also have negative energy in my heart. If I continue to accumulate in this way, I am very troubled by my life. I am very emo every day."
Life is really hard, everyone wants to be a sunflower to draw sunshine, and no one likes to listen to things full of negative energy.
what I would like to emphasize here is that it is normal to complain occasionally, but it is immature to complain all day long, just complaining without facing reality.
everyone is responsible for their own emotions, and others also have feelings that are repressed in their hearts. When a person pours out negative energy to each other for a long time, it will not only form a bad habit, but also make the other person worry and stay away.
so don't be a positive Terminator, don't be led by negative energy, stay away from the person who continues to give you negative energy.
people whose empathy is too weak
Inner OS: "I just want to feel"
imagine that when you get along with a person, you can't have your own ideas, you can only listen to him and do exactly what he wants.
you must feel uncomfortable, or even have a feeling of suffocation?
this is the feeling of being swallowed up.
there is a word in psychology: empathy.
means to change places and think from other people's point of view.
people who do not know how to think of others have an obvious characteristic:
"too self", you can only look at things from your own point of view.
they are self-centered and think that other people are just dispensable foil and need everyone to revolve around him.
such people tend to care only about their own feelings, without thinking about others, or even knowing that others have their own feelings:
"never mind, just listen to me."
"you're so busy at work, no wonder you got divorced."
"I just want to eat fish today, you make it for me"
"I don't want you to think, I just want me to think"
when you get along with such people, you have to spend more time communicating and waste more effort.
if you work with them, you will certainly suffer in the long run, because their extreme ego will cause damage to their work.
has empathy, is a considerate and considerate, is a kind of advanced kindness.
Please say goodbye to those who are too weak in empathy, do not know how to think of others, impose their own subjective wishes on you, and do not respect you or attach importance to the relationship.
people who squander "emotional accounts"
Inner OS: "you should be nice to me."
feelings often occur such a phenomenon, that is, the habit of taking each other's efforts for granted, while enjoying while being picky, constantly consuming affection.
this is very bad.
psychologist Willard Harley pointed out that there is an "emotional account" between people, in which communication is like deposits and withdrawals.
every time you make the other person happy, you save a little more, and every time you make the other person sad, you save less.
Don't just know how to extract from it and think willfully that money will never be wasted.
behaviors such as accusation, indifference and disparagement in life are withdrawals and will continue to consume each other.
when the balance is insufficient, your relationship comes to an end.
and savings are often not spent suddenly, it is that you save too little, consume too much, over time, and finally run out of money.
if a relationship is paid for continuous satisfaction, it will eventually lose its own bottom line and principles, resulting in bruises all over the body.
"you always take care of others, who will take care of you?"
in fact, we are really good to a person, we do not hope that each other can have any practical return, just hope that the other person can cherish this feeling is enough.
however, people who do not know how to be grateful always take your good for granted, even more greedy, not only want to occupy your good, but also make it worse.
if you help him a hundred times, he won't be grateful. Once you don't help him, he will hold a grudge.
so cold-blooded as a snakeA person will hurt you in the invisible, even if he attracts you again, don't get too close.
people whose hearts are full of interests
Inner OS: "interests are the most important"
A heart-wrenching truth is that interests are often the best embodiment of the beauty or ugliness of human nature.
there are always some people in life who have bad intentions and are used to maximizing their own interests.
A person's character depends on when Ta has a conflict of interest with you.
some people are keen to strive for fame and wealth, do whatever it takes to achieve their ends, specialize in things that harm others and their own interests, and lose the principle and bottom line of life.
"look at people, look at the background, give people terms."
refers to mercenary people.
they are eager for quick success and quick profit, and their dealings with you have an obvious purpose, and they want to extract more benefits from you anytime and anywhere.
when you are good for him, please you; when you are of no use to him, you begin to stay away from you.
the ability of talking to others and talking nonsense to hell is super strong, and it also refers to them.
it's hard to know when you get along with this kind of person.
if there are many people, there must be demons. In the face of all kinds of complicated social relationships, are you ready to take it?
first of all, it is necessary to have the intention of harming others and to guard against others. Don't forget this sentence.
mercenary people are selfish all the time, and even do whatever it takes to make a profit.
maybe you can enjoy the benefits of being friends with him for a while, but in the long run, it's a very dangerous relationship, and maybe one day he will stab you for personal gain.
some relationships confuse your heart like poison, so choose your friends or relationships carefully.
sometimes "severing contact" requires sobriety and decisiveness.
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like the four kinds of people mentioned in the article, being with them for a long time is bound to do more harm than good.
when you feel negative energy overload, when you are swallowed up, when you encounter unequal relationships, and when others infringe upon your interests, please show your attitude of being neither humble nor arrogant, stop the loss in time, and remind the friends around you to get hurt less.