With what kind of people, you will imperceptibly become the same person as each other.
it is very easy to form a magnetic field between people. There may be two kinds of people in your magnetic field:
one makes you feel exhausted and tired, while the other makes you feel comfortable and warm.
the former kind of person absorbs the energy of others, while the latter kind of person gives others energy.
if we want to improve our energy, no matter how close our friends are, if we have these four kinds of performance, we should cut off contact.
the ability to envy others, the loss of lucky people
Keigo Higano wrote in "malice":
"the greatest evil of human nature is that it is not good to see others. You never know how malicious people who seem to be close in life will be against you behind your back. "
the harm caused by such people is often more difficult for us to guard against than the enemy.
Chunyan in the popular TV series "the World" is such a person.
at first, when there was no conflict of interest and no comparison, Chunyan spoke out to help Zheng Juan solve her predicament when she was gossiped and taught her to massage.
it can be said that every appearance of her can sweep away the gloomy atmosphere and make everyone feel the bright sunshine from spring.
"I can help you, but you can't live better than me."
what a heart-wrenching reality that I don't want to see friends who used to be the same as me, who are doing so much better.
when Zheng Juan gave the helpless Yu Hong a house for demolition, Chunyan asked Gan Bingkun for help but was refused.
Wanna go for for a flirty mid length homecoming dresses and flaunt your body? In every style, you can now choose your style.
at this time, Chunyan suddenly lost her balance and spoke ill of her former good sister Yu Hong, even unsparing to unite with her narrow-minded husband Cao Debao to start the neighborhood and falsely accuse Bingyi.
finally, old friends are far away from them, in the new area at night to see the big guys together for dinner, Debao and Chunyan left tears of remorse, but everything can not go back.
this is the case with people who don't like others, because you are better off than me, so you are guilty; because I am not as good as you, I will destroy you.
such people, to put it bluntly, don't get along if they can't get along with each other, or they will suffer sooner or later.
feel sorry for yourself and like to complain
as the saying goes:
"there are ninety-eight out of ten unpleasant things in life, but there are no two or three people who can talk to others."
there is a psychological term called "victim thinking".
means that people who are in this habit of thinking tend to regard themselves as a victim in front of any time, place, thing, or person, until the whole world is projected as a "perpetrator".
such people always make excuses for themselves, rationalize their mistakes, blame others and complain.
Xiao Li, a college roommate, is such a person. She complains all the time:
results are not satisfactory and complain that there is not enough time to review the exam;
team cooperation is not going well, complaining about the slow efficiency and poor ability of members of the same group;
even when she failed to participate in the public selection, she complained that there was a sinister curtain in the hearts of the people.
as psychologist David Polly said:
"some people are like garbage trucks, they run around full of garbage, full of chagrin, anger and disappointment. As the garbage gets higher and higher, they need to find a place to dump it."
such people not only spend their time on trivial things, but also imperceptibly consume others.
if there are such people around us, please stay away as soon as possible.
gain an inch and be insatiably greedy
No matter how much a gentleman loves money, he will get it from the right way.
but people who are insatiably greedy can lose the principle of being a man and calculate their friends for the sake of fame and wealth.
before the hit drama "Twenty without doubt" debunked the truth of the relationship between friends: a really good friend will not let you lose, will not take advantage of you.
Duan Jiabao, a rich girl, likes chasing stars, and her heart is relatively simple. Because she likes chasing stars, she gets to know Xiao Bing by chance.
it is relatively easy to establish a friendship between girls. Two people can become so-called good friends because they like the same star.
at first, Xiao Bing pretended to be polite to invite Duan Jiabao to dinner. On the way to dinner, Xiao Bing found that Duan Jiabao was such a rich man.
after that, at every meal, Xiao Bing looked for various reasons and asked Duan Jiabao to pay the bill.
also asked Duan Jiabao to give her all kinds of gifts and buy all kinds of things, and even invited a lot of friends out to eat and drink, and finally wanted Duan Jiabao to pay the bill.
but in fact, it has always been Xiao Bing who has been calculating in the friendship between the two people, but has never paid anything.
in Xiao Bing's heart, Duan Jiabao is a person who is foolish and has a lot of money. He tries his best to take advantage of her.
fortunately, Duan Jiabao saw Xiao Bing's true face and ended this friendship.
if a person takes an inch in pursuit of interests, he will not hesitate to do anything to hurt his friends, which shows that his heart is wrong.The product is not good.
such people, who are good at using others to satisfy their desires in real life, will become greedy and pay a heavier price as they accumulate over the years.
dealing with such people will only drag us into an endless abyss.
what we can do is to detect it as soon as possible and stay away as soon as possible.
be open-mouthed and gossip
speaking is not an easy task. If you talk every day, you don't necessarily know how to speak. Many people have spoken all their lives without saying a few words.
Cai Kangyong once said:
"I don't care about the art of speaking, I care about the way of speaking. The way I speak is to take you to heart. "
most of the time, frankness and outspokenness, often only in the first line.
I have always been unable to accept that some people use "outspoken" as an excuse to defend their mouth, asking the person he hurt to be generous, and finally add "I am doing this for your own good."
I fell in love for a long time last year, brother and sister, or a long distance.
the boy is from Shanghai. When he came home for the Spring Festival, a relative advised her that he was unreliable and stingy.
cousin listen to it, bear with it, after all, is an elder, do not want to refute.
the person who advised her got worse, saying:
"I'm telling you, you'll suffer if you don't listen to advice. If you think about it, you are so many years older than him. Why does he like you?
do you think you are really good and kind? Or are you gorgeous? Don't you still see that you are gullible? They don't have a good thing. "
my cousin's face changed on the spot and was about to have an attack.
the other party said, "Oh, don't be angry. I'm doing this for your own good. We are relatives, so we say this."
just like this kind of people, they don't know how to speak, and they always think that two people are acquaintances, so they don't pay attention to speech and keep their mouths open.
A good word warms you in three winters, but a bad word hurts you in June. Whenever we do, I hope we can understand it.
in this life, we don't have to be a person everyone likes, but we can try to be sincere, warm and measured people.
as the saying goes:
"those who are close to red are red, and those who are close to ink are black."
what kind of people you associate with, you will become the same person as the other person in a subtle way.
just like the well-intentioned "three relocation of Meng Mother", it is enough to prove the great influence of the external environment on us.
so, no matter how good the relationship is, please stay away from these four performances as soon as possible.