May you and I both be able to be a free and relaxed person from now on.
the topic of depression is no stranger to us.
in this era when we are constantly pushed forward, we play different social roles, encounter all kinds of problems, and face all kinds of moments of loss, conflict and helplessness.
in fact, psychological problems do not happen all of a sudden, but are formed over time.
it's just that most of the time, we choose to suppress or escape, but ignore these "help signals". In the long run, it will fall into a deeper whirlpool.
therefore, it is particularly important to be aware of your emotions regularly.
if you often appear in the following situations and say these mantras, then you should be vigilant and adjust your body and mind appropriately.
do you have such an experience in life:
if he makes a mistake at work, he tosses and turns all night, worrying that the leader will not recognize himself.
lovers begin to think wishful thinking when they don't reply to messages in time.
it's like having a netizen in Zhihu
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talk about his own experience.
but lying in bed, he tossed and turned and began to think:
"he seemed very angry just now and said that I didn't look like a college student. Did he regret letting me go to school?"
will there be no living expenses for next semester?
does he think he raised me for nothing?
he must be too angry to sleep now, hey, I shouldn't have done that to him.
but I am also very aggrieved. Why does he disrespect my opinion? he has not regarded me as a person with independent thoughts for so many years.
Wow, I am so desperate and want to cry.
he must still be angry. Shall I go and talk to him? by the way, should I apologize?
but what if he is disappointed in me? "
perhaps many people have the same state of mind, always at some point, let go of things that have not been done well enough in the past, even if some things have passed for a long time, but they are still circling in their minds.
if only I hadn't done this;
if only I had done this.
Psychological research holds that: "sometimes what makes us tired is not the body, but the internal friction produced by the brain."
when a person is always caught up in excessive regurgitation, there is no doubt that he is putting himself back into the negative events of the past and going through that pain again and again.
this is why many depressed patients feel that they are "very tired when they haven't done anything."
this is because the conflict in their brains has consumed all their energy.
"I'm not good enough to deserve it"
many people can see the positive side as well as the negative side in their lives, and they can be happy and sad, so that a balance can be reached between state and emotion.
but depressed people, like a stop pendulum, focus on the negative side in their eyes and perceive negative emotions.
it's like facing other people's praise, they always have a voice in their heart that shakes their head and says, "I don't deserve it. Other people are just being polite to you. Don't take it seriously."
whatever happens, they will attribute all the responsibility to themselves: "it's all my fault" and "it's all my fault".
in the psychology book Mr. Toad goes to see a psychiatrist, the protagonist Mr. Toad is also depressed because of this.
people around him point fingers at him because he has done something wrong, and even in the face of very unfair scolding, Mr. Toad adopts the model of agreeing with each other's words and accepting everything.
he said to the consultant, "I admit my mistake, as long as I can get them to like me again."
later, with the deepening of psychological counseling, he found the root of this belief.
when he was a child, his father was so strict that he never got his father's approval.
once, he tried to get close to his father but was pushed directly off his knee, accompanied by a heart-piercing remark: "I can't stand you like this."
for those who have been belittled and denied for a long time, it is difficult for Ta to establish an intrinsically stable and positive evaluation system.
this is more likely to lead to depression.
"everything is boring"
"what's the feeling of depression?"
TED has a speaker who describes it like this:
"I suddenly found that I had lost interest in everything. Even if it was something you were very willing to do before. "
it seems that everything in life becomes dull and nothing happens around me can cause a stir.
no longer look forward to social activities, no longer enjoy hobbies, feel "everything is boring" and "so boring".
this is what we often call "meaninglessness".
if you find that you suddenly don't like what you used to like;
used to like to make friends.Suddenly I don't want to get in touch with my friend.
the sports I liked in the past suddenly have no desire to participate.
then maybe you need to be vigilant.
what exactly is depression telling us?
in fact, many people have some depression more or less before they fall into depression. Similar to depression, emptiness, fatigue, full of negative thoughts, etc.
these depressions are like a reminder to remind you:
you're not going to make it;
you need to stop and have a rest.
Professor James S. Gordon of Harvard University said:
therefore, in the face of depression, we can make some appropriate adjustments to increase psychological flexibility.
how to prevent depression?
most of the time, our mental attrition comes from the overactivity of the brain.
mindfulness exercises can help us train you to focus on the present without easily shifting your mind to the past or the future.
what should I do? For example:
set a time every day, find a quiet environment, choose a comfortable posture, focus on your breathing, and imagine the air coming in from the tip of your nose, filling your body, and then going out from the tip of your nose.
when eating and walking, don't play with your cell phone and think about miscellaneous things.
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instead, focus on the food you eat, activate your senses and taste it.
when walking on the road, you can feel the movement of muscles, the feeling of stepping on the ground and leaving the ground.
you might as well do more of these exercises so that they can be internalized into our daily life and form habits.
focus on the powerful side of yourself
when a person only looks at the negative side, he must feel very depressed.
but if you look at it in another way, it may be different.
for example, a girl grew up in a patriarchal family. If she only sees herself being treated unfairly, she will only be full of grievances and feel unworthy of being loved.
but if she can see how strong I grew up in such an unfair environment, maybe she will no longer focus on her own suffering, but on the other side-"I am strong".
this approach is to let us use the "powerful parts" of the story to cover up the negative parts that we can no longer change.
I think every story that belongs to you has your own "power resources". Find it and it will be the "shining moment" of your life.
do the right amount of exercise
exercise is of great help in fighting depression. It itself causes the body to secrete a variety of substances that enhance emotional pleasure.
finally, seek help from a psychiatrist if necessary
as the author of "40 effective ways to get out of Depression quickly" repeatedly reminded:
if we are really powerless and emotionally troubled, then we might as well try to accept depression and bravely ask for outside help.
accept yourself in this state, stop being critical of yourself, be more tolerant of yourself, and tell yourself that this is just a certain moment and a certain period of time in your life, which does not represent all of yourself, not all of your life!
only in this way can we get twice the result with half the effort when faced with the problem of depression.
of course, at the same time, if we have a friend who is suffering from depression, please give him more patience and care.
I wish you and I can be a free and relaxed person from now on.