There is no perfect choice in the world, and there is no perfect ending in life.
I once heard a saying:
the truth of marriage is that no matter who you marry, you will regret it. "
there is no perfect choice, and there is no perfect ending in life.
in addition to compromise and concession, there are sewing and mending in the married life of every couple.
A good marriage will give up three times.
when we were young, we had more or less fantasies about our future partners.
there is a question on Zhihu: what kind of ideal partner do you have in mind?
High praise replied that there are both lingering love and profound friendship.
two people are not only lovers, but also friends who talk about everything and support each other.
sounds very desirable, life is ordinary, it is love that makes our eyes shine.
but the reality is often not satisfactory.
before marriage, you fantasize about the scene of harmony between husband and wife, which may also be replaced by differences in size after marriage, and the harmony you expect may become trivial.
in reality, the person you think is invincible will be vulnerable, anxious, have problems you can't deal with, and pressure you can't resist.
when there is a difference between the perfect object in fantasy and the chicken feathers in reality, many people feel that they have found the wrong person and married the wrong person because they can't stand the gap.
but if you think about it, you can see that there are no perfect people in this world, and where there are people who are in line with their own wishes.
only you accept that the other person is an ordinary person, and the days are just ordinary days, give up unrealistic fantasies and lower your expectations.
in order to work well with each other to manage the relationship.
many people will enter a big misunderstanding in their relationship: when life is not going well, they always want to transform their partner, thinking that their emotional life will be smooth all the way.
after marriage, Fu Seoul always felt that his husband was not self-motivated. In order to make him positive and enterprising, Fu Seoul often urged him.
forced him to sell durian and have insurance.
under the spur of Fu Seoul, my husband really got up and went out early and came back late every day, making him busy a lot.
but on many nights, when Fu Seoul gets up, he will find her husband smoking on the balcony, alone.
Fu Seoul knows that her husband is unhappy.
she only knows what kind of life she wants to live and remakes her husband according to her own ideas, but she never asks her husband what he wants.
she wants to transform her husband everywhere and make her husband better. To put it bluntly, she reveals the four scariest words in an intimate relationship-I am not satisfied.
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one is not satisfied, the other is unhappy.
at first I feel tired, and then I hate each other later.
after a long time, both parties are likely to feel that the other is not the person they want.
when two people fall in love, they don't accept each other's strengths, they just accept each other's weaknesses.
Marriage is never a confrontation between strength and weakness, but a mutual tolerance and compromise between two people.
A mature love is not to ask each other by your own standards, but that I like your strengths and accept your weaknesses.
there has never been a perfect partner or perfect marriage in this world.
the so-called marriage life is nothing more than running in with each other and compromising each other over a long period of time, embedding imperfect people into their own lives.
if you can accept his imperfection, it may be a kind of perfection.
I hope that we can all discover each other's bright spots in our dull marriage life, accept each other's disappointments, and grow old together from now on.