To please others is to please yourself, and to cross others is to cross yourself.
writer Feng Jicai told a story.
once, a friend took his son to the hotel where he stayed to visit him.
while the two were talking, the naughty boy climbed into Feng Jicai's bed and stood jumping and jumping on it.
if you yell at the "bear child" directly, it will make your friend's face unbearable.
so Feng Jicai joked: "ask your son to come back to earth."
the friend immediately understood, "OK, I'll discuss it with him."
really smart people, not ignoring people's mistakes,
but will quietly preserve the decency of others while pointing out other people's problems.
in life, being able to build a homeopathic step for others is a kind of advanced EQ.
in the TV series "Young Marshal", Zhang Zuolin has an impressive classic line:
"what are rivers and lakes? Jianghu is not fighting and killing, jianghu is human and worldly. "
A small human theater was staged in the fifth season of the popular variety show "my wife's Romantic Journey".
in this season, the wife regiment is headed by inexperienced Liu Tao.
when several guests and couples sat together for dinner, everyone encouraged her that there would be no problem with her as a leader.
Jiang Qinqin suddenly said, "actually, as soon as I heard you were a colonel, I didn't want to come."
Liu Tao asked with a stiff smile: "Why?"
Jiang Qinqin said, "I know Qin Hailu is coming, and you two are very good girlfriends. I'm afraid I'll be embarrassed when I come."
the implication is that he is worried that Liu Tao will have a better relationship with Qin Hailu, and Liu Tao will pay special attention to Qin Hailu and ignore her.
Liu Tao reassured Jiang Qinqin that he was not that kind of person.
Jiang Qinqin popped up again: "what kind of people?"
Liu Tao stops talking again.
at this time, Lin Kui on one side came out to make a circle:
"Sister Qin, you don't know Sister Tao. I filmed with her before. I was amused by her on the scene every day. She takes care of everyone's mood, and everyone will be very happy!"
has rescued Liu Tao, so that her situation will not be too awkward.
also dispelled Jiang Qinqin's worries and let her know that Liu Tao is actually a very easy person to get along with.
the timely rain relieved the tension in an instant.
the world is enlightened and learned, and the practice of human feelings is the article.
as Li Jian said: "when others encounter embarrassment, please give a step down, not only help others out, but also reflect their own self-cultivation."
it is a compulsory lesson for us to know how to act in an awkward moment and put in a good word for others when necessary.
people who are good at giving people down the steps will gain more respect and favor.
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there is a question on Zhihu: what details will make people feel comfortable to get along with?
there is an answer: "everything takes the initiative to give each other a step, especially when there is a conflict, you can also restrain your arrogance and make one step at a time."
indeed. As the saying goes, one step back, two steps back ten thousand miles clear sky.
when I ate out at a restaurant not long ago, I saw a scene like this happening to a young couple at the next table.
as the two people chatted, the girl became more and more angry and began to yell.
the boy shook his head helplessly: "Alas, it is true that it is said that beautiful women have a big temper."
the girl giggled, and the quarrel that was about to break out came to an abrupt end.
it is inevitable that there will be friction when people interact with each other.
the key to flameout is to create a homeopathic ladder for the other party in time.
think of a video I once brushed.
after the wife quarreled with her husband, the husband drove her to work as usual.
in the car, the husband complained about his wife, and whenever he quarreled, he blocked his Wechat, telling her to either add Wechat back or get out of the car and take a taxi.
the angry wife opened the car door without hesitation and got out of the car.
the husband was regretting that he should not have left his wife on the road when someone knocked on the window: "Master, I'm going to work at work. Will you pull it or not?" How much is it? "
he glanced at the passenger and said, "10 yuan."
"passenger" got on the bus: "Master, why don't you add a Wechat and transfer the account?"
he smiled briskly: "good!"
so the couple added Wechat again.
if you have a good relationship, you will know how to leave a step for each other and let it go.
A bad relationship is often unyielding and insists on making a point of right and wrong.
in getting along with others, instead of tit-for-tat, it is better to take steps gracefully.
there is a wonderful saying:
"give Archimedes a fulcrum, he will pry the whole earth; give each other a step, he can come down from Mount Everest."
giving steps to others is not only a kind of kindness for the sake of others, but also a kind of wisdom to protect oneself.
Zhu Yuanzhang, the emperor of the Ming Dynasty, liked fishing very much, but his fishing skills were very poor.
one day, Zhu Yuanzhang invited the cabinet to go fishing with him in the Imperial Garden.
after a while, Xie Jie caught a few fish and looked at the living trophies. Xie Huan was beaming with joy.
Zhu Yuanzhang was very annoyed when he waited for a long time and didn't catch a single fish.
as the saying goes "Accompany you like a tiger. "if you are afraid of getting into trouble, you will have a plan in your mind."
he said respectfully, "your Majesty, those fish understand human nature and rules!"
Zhu Yuanzhang was interested: "what do you mean by this?"
Xie Jie chanted a poem casually:
several feet of silk fell into the water and the gold hook was left behind without a trace.
all fish dare not face up to the son of Heaven, long live the king only fishing dragons.
the main idea is that the fish are mortal and dare not meet the son of Heaven. Only dragons can meet the son of Heaven.
this poem gave Zhu Yuanzhang enough face and maintained his self-esteem. Zhu Yuanzhang turned his anger into joy and eliminated his unhappiness.
sometimes, to give others a step down is to give yourself a way back.
everyone has an embarrassing time, so you have to keep a balance and take care of the decency of others.
give steps when they should be given, and build bridges when they should be built, so as not to make people lose face, and they will not have no way out.
writer Su Qin wrote in his book:
people are mutual. To please others is to please yourself, and to cross others is to cross yourself.
be a comfortable person in the future and be with people who are comfortable with each other.