The deadliest way for people to get along with others is not to communicate with each other.
Rockefeller, the oil magnate, said:
"if interpersonal communication skills are the same as soup and coffee, I am willing to pay a higher price than anything else for this ability.
I think so.
effective communication is the basic element of harmonious interpersonal relationship.
if you want to communicate well, you must learn to listen, manage your emotions, and resolve conflicts effectively.
Communication is learning to listen
there is a saying in Spring and Autumn: private listening deafens the mind, and private thoughts make the heart crazy.
if you listen to questions with selfishness, you will become deaf, and if you think about problems with selfishness, there will be no criteria for madness.
effective listening is the key to building a harmonious interpersonal relationship.
James wrote in the Bible: "listen quickly and speak slowly."
when we establish communication and communication with others, we should first learn to listen.
American host Linklater interviewed a child and asked, "what do you want to be when you grow up?"
the child replied, "well... I want to be the pilot of the plane! "
Linklater then asked, "what will you do if one day your plane flies over the Pacific Ocean and all its engines stall?"
the child replied, "I will first tell the people on the plane to fasten their seat belts, and then I hang up my parachute and jump out."
the audience roared with laughter, and Linklater continued to look at the child to see if he was a smart guy. Unexpectedly, the child burst into tears.
so Linklater asked, "Why are you doing this?"
the child replied sincerely, "I'm going to get the fuel, and I'm coming back!"
there is a sentence in "non-violent Communication":
"to really listen is to put aside the thoughts and judgments you already have in your heart and experience others wholeheartedly.
ordinary communicators only listen to the information they think is important, while the really good communicators will listen wholeheartedly and not miss a single detail.
listening not only uses the ear to listen to the speaker's words, but also requires one to fully feel the verbal information and emotional transmission expressed by the other person in the course of the conversation.
it reflects your upbringing, shows your qualities, and allows you to accurately and quickly understand what the other person is really thinking.
effective communication is to know how to listen to others and give them respect, and when others express, do not negate others at will, so as to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.
Communication is emotional management
everyone has emotions, but not everyone can manage emotions.
different emotions can lead to different communication results.
there is a good saying: good mood, the effect of communication will get twice the result with half the effort, bad mood, the effect of communication is to create trouble.
the movie search tells such a story:
Ye Lanqiu, a white-collar worker in the city, accidentally detected advanced lymphatic cancer.
on the bus that day, because she was so depressed in fear, she refused to give up her seat to the old man on the bus and said angrily: if you want to sit here (her thigh).
this process happened to be photographed by a TV intern reporter with a mobile phone, which was maliciously magnified and aroused public discussion as soon as it was released, and netizens collectively attacked Ye Lanqiu for moral decay.
her boss lent her 1 million yuan, which was misunderstood and called "mistress".
finally, because she did not give up her seat, it caused butterfly-like cyber violence, which overwhelmed her and chose to commit suicide.
Napoleon said: the man who can control his emotions is greater than the general who can win a city.
High-quality communication should focus on results, not emotions, and communication should start from the heart.
poor emotional management between husband and wife will turn into a quarrel or even a fight.
if the family members do not manage their emotions well, they will break down and cause conflicts.
poor emotional management between friends will lead to emotional alienation.
if you are in a bad mood, you will not be able to speak your heart or listen to your heart, and the content of your expression will often be distorted and misunderstood.
to manage emotions, you should first be aware of the emotion when it comes, then identify it, and then use techniques to control it.
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to communicate with people, 70% is emotion, 30% is content. Doing a good job of emotional management can help us communicate with people more effectively.
Communication is a necessary social skill for adults, emotional management, and a required course for adults.
Communication is to resolve contradictions
there is a saying in the Outlaws of the Marsh: the wind does not come, the tree does not move, the boat does not shake, the water is not muddy.
there is no love for no reason, no hate for no reason, everything has its causes and consequences.
if there is a problem between two people, be sure to communicate in time.
A person who does not ask, does not say, no matter how familiar, will gradually become strange, no matter how deep feelings, will gradually become alienated.
when people get along with others, misunderstandings and contradictions are inevitable.
solve the contradiction, everyone is happy; if the contradiction cannot be resolved, sometimes it will lead to irreparable results.
to resolve conflicts, the most important thing is to understand the importance of communication.
Wang Xiaobo once said:
"bravery and diligence alone does not necessarily lead to success; on the contrary, thinking calmly in mediocrity is more likely to solve the problem."
Lions and tigersA fierce conflict broke out between them, and in the end, both sides lost.
when the lion was about to die, he said to the tiger, "if you hadn't insisted on robbing my territory, we wouldn't be like this."
the tiger said in surprise, "I never wanted to take your territory. I always thought you were going to invade me."
the deadliest way for people to get along with others is not to communicate with each other, but to guess what each other thinks at random, resulting in differences between the two people, further and further away, until it is irreparable.
Communication is a process of transmission and feedback of thoughts and feelings between people and groups.
if you are right, try to get the other person to agree with you gently and skillfully;
if you are wrong, admit it quickly and enthusiastically. This is much more effective and interesting than arguing for yourself.
Communication is not only interpersonal communication, but also emotional communication, but also an effective way to eliminate misunderstandings and resolve contradictions.
families without communication are unhappy, and friendships without communication do not last long.
some people say: "the most ideal relationship is to admire each other in temperament, communicate with each other in mind, and be in tune with each other in world outlook."
May everyone have such relatives and friends in their lives. If not, may you be such a person.