If we agree with each other and go in both directions, we can resonate on the same frequency.
there are books
I saw a video two days ago.
at three o'clock in the morning, after a couple quarreled, the girl leaned against the head of the bed while looking at her mobile phone, still crying.
when the boy saw this, he carefully asked her if she was still angry.
just then, the girl took a deep breath and handed the phone to her boyfriend:
"although I'm still quarreling with you, can you see if these two look exactly alike?"
this unexpected reaction made people laugh instantly.
many netizens said one after another: "it's so cute that I can't even restrain the desire to share in a quarrel!"
this reminds me of my previous hot search
# how romantic is the desire for two-way sharing #
A passage I have seen:
"I think the desire to share is extremely important in an intimate relationship.
all the meaningless things I have told you are essentially the hope that you can participate in my life and maintain a loving connection with me. "
Yes, everyone may express love differently, but love must be hidden in sharing.
in the most comfortable relationships, there is often a lust for sharing.
the desire to share is a preservative for feelings
"Marriage Pope" John Gottman, who spent 40 years tracking 3000 intimate couples, discovered a secret to keep relationships fresh.
always be curious about each other and never stop talking.
the best antistaling agent for love is not flowers or love words, but to keep communication and interaction with each other.
once the desire for sharing is lost, the relationship between the two people will quickly fade.
once hit a "Library 30 seconds" post on Zhihu.
the girl in the story has been with her boyfriend for eight years, and the relationship has been very stable, almost never quarreling.
not only the friends around, but also the parents of both sides are very fond of them.
but while they were planning their wedding, the girl accidentally found a Wechat on her boyfriend's phone.
the content of that Wechat post is not a blatant love message, but a very ordinary daily sentence from my boyfriend's sister.
the point is that they have been sharing trivial lives like this almost every day for the past year.
even if her boyfriend is so busy with his graduation thesis that he can not chat with her authentic girlfriend for several days, he still has to take time to chat with his younger sister every day.
the most unacceptable thing for girls is that she was making a wish on a candle on her birthday last year.
seeing her doubts, her boyfriend changed the topic.
"for those 30 seconds, are you worried that she is afraid because of the power outage in the library, or do you want to accompany me on my birthday year after year?"
facing the girl's question, the boy was silent.
looking at her boyfriend, the girl resolutely chose to break up.
Love is like a spring water. If you lose the desire for sharing, it is a backwater.
only by keeping flowing can we always be alive.
the desire to share is the thermometer of marriage
"husband and wife's life is trivial and concrete. No matter how bitter the life is and how simple the environment is, we can't omit the part of husband and wife talking nonsense and love words together."
only in this way can marriage have vigor and vitality. "
Yes, people who love you will find it interesting even if you say "nonsense".
people who don't love you will only feel superfluous in every word you say.
if you lose the desire for sharing, even the best relationship will gradually cool down.
couples who can stay together and share nonsense with each other will live the most ordinary days steaming hot.
Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu are both masters of literature.
but in private, two people always like to say some seemingly irrelevant and unnutritious "nonsense".
"give you a magic weapon of the fairy family, what do you want?"
"We all have to wear an invisibility cloak and travel together. We just want to get rid of the shackles and experience everywhere, and we don't want to do evil.
but having a good time, he couldn't help being presumptuous and mischievous, so he alarmed people and couldn't hide, so he had to run away. "
"Oh, there has to be a method of shrinking land."
"and body protection!"
they always enjoy conversations like this.
Qian Zhongshu even wrote down his "nonsense" with his wife Yang Jiang.
"Marriage is like a long-term conversation. When you decide to get married, you should consider whether you can talk and laugh until the end."
when a person loves you, he will take the trouble to tell you every thought and discovery.
because it is a wonderful thing to share each other's lives.
in the conversation between you and me, it is the warmest appearance of marriage.
the desire to share is a barometer of the relationship
saw a question on the Internet: "since when do you think it's time to break up?"
highly praised replied:
"since I saw a joke and didn't want to share it with you in the first place."
the desire to share is a seed, and the seed is only in fertilizer.Only in fertile soil can the most beautiful flowers bloom, and "good response" is the most suitable soil for its growth.
most of the time, if one of the couples loses the desire to share, it is mostly because they never get a response.
this is the case with Li Yinghe and Yinshu of the variety show "We are divorced".
they have been married for 26 years, and every time Yinshu wants to communicate with her husband Li Yinghe, all she gets is her husband's indifference and impatience.
is Li Yinghe an introverted and inarticulate person?
on the contrary, he likes the wine bureau very much and loves to socialize.
drink until the wee hours of the morning six days a week, even if it's a honeymoon, play with friends until 4: 00 in the morning.
it's not that he can't talk, he just doesn't want to talk to her as a wife.
finally, the marriage came to an end.
when we met again, Yinshu finally expressed her inner feelings to Li Yinghe in front of her:
"I hope you can listen to me more and I will listen to you in this meeting. Because when I used to talk, you used to stop interrupting me. "
Marriage requires two people to work together to solve problems, big and small, and then come to an end.
No communication and no response will only magnify the contradiction and cannot solve the problem.
have read a sentence:
"Women are water. If you meet me at 0 degrees, I will become ice immediately."
if you love me with 100 degrees, I will boil immediately.
if you treat me with 50 degrees, I will be neither hot nor cold. "
indifference, neglect, and taking it for granted to a person's sharing is the heaviest blow to feelings.
when one party is sharing, what the other needs to do is to listen to the observation and give a positive response, which is the best way to get along.
there is a good saying:
"what we share may be little things, but what we maintain is a big relationship."
A happy and long-term relationship needs not only continuous sharing, but also response.
identify with each other and go in both directions in order to resonate on the same frequency.
so how on earth do we keep our desire to share?
adjust your mindset
when you want to share something with your partner, but notice that the other person seems absent-minded, don't try to change him or her with a cold attitude.
it's about adjusting your mindset, communicating directly with the other person, expressing your feelings and thoughts, and asking him if he is willing to change.
find common ground
everyone has different preferences, so you can observe more, communicate more, find common interests of two people, and do it together every week.
for example, if you like sports, you can find time for two people to exercise together every week, enjoy the process and find common topics.
when your partner doesn't reply "hmmm" perfunctorily after you share, you can use enough positive feedback to support him, affirm him, and reward him appropriately.
for example, if you share an interesting story and the other person actively discusses it with you, you can praise him or give him a small gift.
in short, a good relationship needs to be nourished by love and maintained by the desire to share.
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our life today should not be a "cold plagiarism" of yesterday's life.
as long as two people share and respond to each other, they can resist the dullness of life together.
May we all express ourselves bravely when we love, share when we are loved, and be lucky to have a response to everything.